Saturday, August 30, 2008

Q. My Husband Doesn't Like to Kiss Anymore

A. Kissing often goes by the wayside in long-term relationships unless steps are taken to bring it back. I suggest the following:
  1. Explain your thoughts at a time you're *not* kissing.
  2. Watch my DVD on The Art of Kissing or romantic movies for inspiration.
  3. When watching a good kiss on film, comment, "I'd like to be kissed like that."
  4. Entice him with sexy clothes, perfume, etc.
  5. Ask him if he'd like to have sex with or kiss ________. Fill in the name with the latest starlet or singer. Fantasy works wonders wonders, and you can use it yourself. Marilyn Monroe employed this stratagem when kissing on the set of films.
  6. Withhold favors unless kissed properly.
  7. Demand kisses in the kitchen.
  8. Kiss him on the neck and bite his ears. Pull his hair. Do something to go outside the norm.
  9. Use aphrodisiacs such as maca or others to boost his libido.
  10. Read Lady Chatterly's Lover together. The novel can inspire more romantic interludes.
  11. If all else fails, have him contact me for kissing lessons.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

How to French Kiss

French kissing involves tongue contact, but there are no “rules.” Just think of it like eating an apple,—you do what feels good and you never do it the same way twice but each time you try to enjoy it as a new experience.

Some techniques you could try
  1. Flicker the tips of your tongues.
  2. Rotate tongues in circular motions.
  3. Play chase back & forth.
  4. Suck your partner’s tongue.
  5. Gently bite their tongue.
Advice for girls
  1. You do not need to do french kisses on a first date.
  2. If a boy french kisses you with too much tongue lean back, push him away, or gently bite his tongue.
  3. If he makes you gag with his tongue, just gently bite his tongue.
  4. And tell him he’s got to cool down.
  5. The key to french kissing is tongue contact in the front of the mouth, not way in the back.
  6. Too bad most boys don’t realize this.
Advice for boys
Keep in mind that the biggest mistake we make is giving girls French kisses before they want them and giving French kisses that are too invasive. Seventy-five percent of girls complain that they have received tongue kisses that made them choke or gag or made them feel like they were suffocating. That being said, if you really think the time is right, then simply open your mouth while kissing her and see if she uses her tongue first. If not, give just a little bit of yours and see if she responds with hers. Always keep in mind that less is more. Try to let the girl take the lead in
French kissing and you'll become a more romantic kisser.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

New TV Segment on Kissing In the Works

I'm replying here to a producer's questions for a possible TV show on kissing.

Q. I’m wondering how you would feel about setting up a show (at a theater or simply in a smaller setting) with about 3 couples and maybe 20 people in the audience. Would that work? How would that be different for you?
A. That's a possibility, although I don't have time to do the advance work on that since I'm teaching this semester and completing a book under contract. My lecture agents also suggested the possibility of a free show at a college. They might be able to set that up. Audiencewise, my typical crowd is 250. A smaller crowd means significantly less energy and excitement not only in the audience but also onstage. A seminar with just a handful of people in the room will usually make the demonstrators become reserved. Crowds bring out the best in the actors. This isn't to say that a small crowd can't work; only that it typically leads to less exciting performances.

Q. How does the show work? How do you go through the different styles of kissing? How long is it usually? Tell me about the different parts of the show.
A. I arrive at the venue for a soundcheck. Then I rehearse four couples for an hour. These couples are provided by the student activities office of the college. We then go onstage and the couples demonstrate thirty different types of romantic kisses while I direct them, tell jokes and interact with the audience. It's like a three-ring circus, only there are no lions, clowns, or trapese artists. There's only me telling jokes and the kissing couples. Usually college crowds find this vastly entertaining because here's a public make out session, plus they're learning a few things here and there, like how to do lip-o-suction, the music kiss, and the Trobriand Islands kiss. There is music during the show, too. It's a regular stage production. You can read more about it in The Professor of Smoochology. The show lasts an hour and begins with a five-minute intro by me. The demonstrators are sitting onstage while I tell jokes. Then the demonstrations start, and I introduce each kiss with a description of the technique involved or some interesting statistic while the students onstage actually do the kisses: the lip kiss, the ear kiss, the neck kiss, the biting kiss, the sliding kiss, and all the rest. The set list is pretty much the same as the kisses in the book and on the DVD. Here's the list of kisses (scroll to bottom of that page).

Q. And if we can get a school for sometime near the end of September, what’s your typical day like on the day of the show? How do you prepare? How do you get the students to participate?
A. I arrive at the airport, get picked up by the college and taken to the venue for a soundcheck of CD player, PowerPoint projector and microphone. I make sure the stage is preset with nine chairs and our props. Hopefully the school did its work and has four couples who arrive 90 minutes prior to showtime. If not I have to look for demonstrators on campus. Once I have the couples I rehearse them for an hour (or less if time is short). The students are always excited to participate in the show (if they're shy I encourage them to enjoy it), and college audiences invariably go wild when the show gets underway. When the first kiss occurs they usually scream.

So, there you have it. A typical The Art of Kissing show.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

How to Kiss Tall Boys

Backstage at a Korn concert in 2007 you're standing at the door to the dressing room, hoping to meet Jon Davis, when this tall guy in a black vest comes out smoking a cigarette in a long cigarette holder and closes the door behind him so that no one can get in and then makes to walk down the hall, but you chase him and corner him and throw your fourteen-year-old sister to one side of him and tell him you're sixteen and old enough to be backstage (because he told you you weren't) and then he smiles and looks down into your eyes and you realize this is a roadie for the band, also known as a guy who takes care of things for them when they're on tour, and it seems like he might have some glamor of his own, the way he keeps looking at you, until your sister gets so frustrated she sulks off to rejoin her friends and you're left with the tall roadie with the hypnotic gaze, and you can smell the cigarette he's smoking and you know it's not a Lucky Strike or a Marlboro, and before you know it he's smiling so clearly at you and only you that you stand on your toes and press yourself up close to him, as if you were going to whisper a secret right into his mouth, and when you're right up close like that he makes the connection by leaning down that last fraction of an inch until his lips brush against yours and then you're in it, the kiss going on for more time than you can calculate, so that in the middle of the kiss, when you're breathless and dizzy from the experience, you're wondering what ever happened to your sister, and then even that thought goes away and all you can do is wallow in your success and smile up at him and tell him you'll be back tomorrow night, too, for the final concert. That's how you kiss tall boys. In fact, tall boys never bothered you, never were much of a challenge, especially since whenever you got close to them they seemed to calm down and lean down and, with you on tippy-toe, your lips always seem to mesh just right.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Kissing Shoulders

Of course your first kiss is going to be on the lips, but after that you can move wherever you like. Let's say the girl is standing in a doorway and she's wearing a shirt with ruffled shoulders, like the girl in this illustration. Luckily her shoulders are exposed, giving you the perfect opportunity to move to the shoulder after kissing the lips. The question of how to kiss the shoulders cannot be left unanswered, especially when the lips have already been touched upon. Ever so lightly at first you'll glide around the top of the shoulder and then going in a little circular pattern you'll kiss in a way that will suggest how you'll kiss her lips in another few moments. Once you've established that kissing pattern in her flesh you can move back to the lips. She'll actually be yearning for that circular pattern that you've set up, and anticipating it she'll think you're such a flirt if you can do the same pattern on her mouth. In this way you have accomplished two goals for the afternoon, and you can move out of the doorway with her: you've kissed her shoulder and you've taught her to expect certain patterns from your kisses. We'll explore how to kiss the shoulder if it's covered by a blouse in a later post.

Friday, August 15, 2008


Welcome to the official presence of William Cane on the Internet. This is The Art of Kissing blog and will contain news and kissing advice and a preview of my next kissing book. The Art of Kissing blog will allow you, the reader, to learn the latest and most sophisticated kissing techniques and also will allow you to contribute your own ideas and kissing wisdom, sharing it with the world and with your friends and lovers everywhere. So let's get started and have some fun.